Many couples struggle with the question whether or not to invite children to their wedding day. The decision is a hotly debated topic with no right or wrong answer. Ultimately it is a personal choice made by the wedding couple, but how do you tell your guests that children are not invited to your wedding?
Addressing the wedding invitation to adults only is the simplest way of indicating that children are not invited. You can further cement this by including the names or number of those invited on the RSVP card.
The problem with the subtle way is just that - it’s subtle! There is still the risk that some guests may assume they and their kids are a package deal. This can lead to drama if parents only find out at the last minute and are unable to make alternative arrangements or if they actually bring their children to the wedding. It may be necessary to tell these guests that you are not expecting children.
It's simple, direct and there will be no confusion. Somewhere on your invitation or RSVP card indicate that children are not invited to the wedding. You can also go the extra mile and write in their exact names on the response card (the same way you addressed them on the outer envelope). Then all they'll have to do is check "will attend" or "will not attend." That way, it will be clear only "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe" are invited. Using an e-RSVP? Allow the drop-down button only for however many are invited. Although this method is effective, beware some sensitive guests may find it rude.
Approach the situation delicately with something cute and thoughtful:
You're welcome to have flower girls, ring bearers and junior attendants at your ceremony. In that case, it's good to come up with a plan to treat them after the ceremony or cocktail hour. You could hire a professional nanny service to supervise in a nearby space at your reception site. Work with your nanny service to plan special, age-appropriate activities like crafts and games, and plan meals that are kid friendly and fun, like a pizza-making class or a breakfast-for-dinner mini buffet.
We express our gratitude to:
Photography: Jurgen Jacob Lodder Bruiloften and Emanuele Greco Photography
Venues: Casa delle TerreForti and Casa La Carrubbazza and Belmond Grand Hotel Timeo